It was a dream, not a nightmare, a beautiful dream I could never imagine in a thousand nods. There was a girl next to me who wasn’t beautiful until she smiled and I felt that smile come at me in heat waves following, soaking through my body and out my finger tips in shafts of color and I knew somewhere in the world, somewhere, that there was love for me.
DISCLAIMER: this journal is me. this is who i am. i don’t care if I offend you. If you don’t like it. go away. It’s funny having a “public journal” but not having anyone really know about it, you don’t think its going to get out to the entire world. It makes you feel.. vulnerable and.. weak. Nobody’s supposed to know what’s my kryptonite except me. :] I figured I wanted to start a fresh journal though. Chapter 2 if you will. Love me or hate me, you obviously care enough to read. Here I will express my emotions and deep thoughts. But mostly I’ll just talk about my days and this is now my diary room. :D stay tuned, this thing will be changing as constantly as i am. ♥ maddie
Oh, if you'd like to ask me something, just click the ask me anything button. Be tasteful, or it won't be posted. • Ask me anything
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Oh, if you'd like to ask me something, just click the ask me anything button. Be tasteful, or it won't be posted. • Ask me anything
• Submit damage control †
…. Terrible numbness then suddenly it comes in beautiful fragments or terrible dreams like nods, so high.
Crush a bit, little bit, roll it up, take a hit
Feelin’ lit feelin’ light, 2 am summer night.
What’s one thing about you people wouldn’t expect?
that i’m a momma :)
Do you think you could ever decide a tattoo design if you chose to get one?
yeah i know what tattoos i want something for my son and a tupac quote
If you married the last person you kissed, what would your last name be?
bartko
Have you ever had a crush on someone “too young” for you?
noo but too old yes
Do you shave your legs more than once a week?
usually yeah
How far would you go with the hottest guy you know?
i have a boyfriend so i wouldn’t cheat and even if i was single, i wouldn’t just hook up with a guy because he is hot, i would have to have feelings for him
Do you still have your V-card?
no
Are you a risk taker?
yes
If you could cuddle with anyone right now who would you pick?
my boy and my son
Are you tanned?
generally no unless i go to the salon but i love having color
What were you up to at 11pm last night?
watching the strangers, sick in bed
How many hours did you sleep last night?
on and off throughout the night i have bronchitis so i haven’t been sleeping well
Would you get married if you could right now?
too young
Do you eat at fast food places?
all the time lol
What is your favorite type of jewelry (i.e. bracelets, necklaces, etc.)?
rings and i love lee brevards
Would you go 2 days without eating for $200?
i’ve gone 5 days without eating before when i was severely depressed, lol 2 days would be easy for me
Are you subscribed to any magazines?
glamour
If given the chance, would you move to another country?
maybew
What are your plans for the future?
i don’t have plans i live day to day but i wanna switch to ALC, graduate, and go to cosmetology school
The last person you had a thing with comes up to you and says “I’m sorry”?
i don’t have “things”, my ex has already apologized
What is the relationship between you and the last person you texted?
she’s the homegirl!! love my jazzyy
Do you think your ex will ever want to be with you again?
he still does but i don’t
Are you open with your feelings to people?
depends who, i’m either very open or very reserved depending on the person and if i can trust them
Would you be mad if your best friend dated the person you liked?
she wouldn’t be dating him because i am
Did you ever want to be a doctor?
anesthesiologist
Was your last real relationship a mistake?
never a failure, always a lesson. it probably was a mistake but i learned a lot from it
Does your mom like the last person you kissed?
she doesn’t dis like him…
When you have a stuffy nose, what do you do to get rid of it?
let it go away on its own
Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now?
possibly
Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
me and matt went to zipps?
Do you regret losing your virginity to who you lost it to?
not really i don’t really think about it, at least we liked eachother and he lost his to me too
Are you normally a happy person?
ehhh i wouldn’t say happy, but content yes
Have you ever slapped someone while you were drunk?
no
Are you scared of thunder?
noo i like it
Are you planning on going to college?
nope
How is your love life going for you right now?
great :) except we’re both really sick
What pisses you off the most about the opposite sex?
immaturity
What do your parents really think of you
lazy
If your boyfriend ever hit you, would you dump him?
idk…
How old will you be in 6 months?
18
Do you tan, burn, or go through the process of burn/peel/tan?
burn but i fake tan when i do it looks natural bronze and isn’t damaging to your skin i love it
What are you wearing right now?
just panties lol
Do you have any tattoos?
i wish
What is the date 2 days after your birthday?
january 11th
If you straighten your hair, how long does it take?
like 25 mins
Have you told anybody you loved them today?
yes
What color are your eyes?
green
Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?
darker
What are you doing tomorrow?
court >:/
What color shirt are you wearing?
no shirt ;)
What would happen if you were suddenly in bed with the last person who texted you?
nothing lol i wouldn’t care shes my girl
Who do you love more than anything right now?
my family, my son, my boy, jazz
Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?
yeah but he can make me sad too
Have you ever hated someone, but ended up being friends with them?
yes, my bf actually
Is it easier to forgive or forget?
forget
Are any of your texts in your inbox saved and why?
omg yess a lot . because they are cute or they are proof of something
What grade is the last person you texted in?
senior
Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
yeah
How many windows are open on your computer?
1
Does the thought of marriage scare you?
nope i can’t wait to get married i just wanna do it right and know he’s the one and be ready
Do you think you’ll be married in 10 years?
yes
When you shut off your alarm clock, do you tend to fall back asleep?
yess
Are there any stressful situations in your life?
being a mom….school…boys… drama
What has been the best day of the week so far?
tues wed thurs fri…. then got sick on saturday :(
Do you know who your next kiss will be with?
yes
Has anybody ever given you butterflies?
yeah
Ever purposely broken your iPod/phone just for a new one?
no that’s retarted
Have you ever cleaned up someone else’s vomit?
noo my drunk friend at a party puked and people tried to get me to clean it, FUCK THAT
What’s something you don’t like about going to the beach?
when the sand sticks to your wet feet…. *cringes* and getting sun burnt
Do seagulls really annoy you or do you find them cute?
i don’t mind them
What’s something you used to collect when you were younger?
rocks, and pokemon stuff lol
Does the thought of moving out from home scare you? Why or why not?
idk how i feel about that… not scared just know i couldn’t support myself yet.
You’re home alone and someone knocks on your door; do you answer it?
probably not unless i’m expecting someone
Do your school pictures always look bad, or are they pretty good?
usually good
Would you rather live in a mansion, or a small cozy home?
mansion
Have you ever thought about killing someone in detail?
nope
